


why so quiet

by SeaWallFics



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, talk of babies, tiniest bit of angst with a happy ending, written for a tumblr prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaWallFics/pseuds/SeaWallFics
Summary: Written for a Tumblr prompt. Anon said: We need someone to write about today’s match and christen and Tobin going home talking about having kidsIt starts a little angsty, but it has a happy ending.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 16
Kudos: 186





	why so quiet

"Why so quiet?"

The question startles Tobin from an almost meditative state of mind. They're in a taxi cab taking them to the airport after the game against Tottenham. Tobin's been lost in thought since her backside hit the leather seat of the TX4 they're occupying. It's not unusual for them to be contemplative after a match, but she knows her spouse inside out and something about the faraway look in Tobin's eyes tells her it's not about soccer.

"What happens if the Olympics get cancelled again?"

Oh, okay. It _is_ about soccer, then. Christen lets the question sink in. With Covid still holding the world hostage, a second cancellation doesn't take that big a stretch of the imagination. They'll be lucky to play the league next year with the way things are going — Christen knows this — but she's determined to keep a positive mindset. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, love," she tries, hoping to ease Tobin's mind with the, admittedly, cliched answer.

"What happens after that? Do you want to try for another World Cup in '23?" Tobin turns to look at Christen as she asks this next question, eyes filled with a blatant, burning curiosity.

"I don't know," Christen admits. "I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Who knows I'll even be able to play in '23. I'm not getting any younger, ya know," she tacks on with a playful smile.

Tobin doesn't smile back, turns away again to look out the window. "I know."

Christen blinks at the back of Tobin's head, not sure what's happening right now. Tobin's response leaves her prickly, but she's very aware of their surroundings and their complete lack of privacy, so she swallows her initial response for appearance's sake. "We'll talk about this when we get home," is all she says, waiting for Tobin to nod her head in silent acknowledgement before turning away herself to stare out of the opposite window.

~

The awkwardness continues as they send off their taxi and enter the Manchester apartment they now share. Christen watches Tobin move away from her, knowing she's trying to escape the tense silence, but the fuming forward has no intention of letting her get away that easily. "Hold it right there, Heath," she orders, the steel in her voice telling Tobin she'd better.

Tobin stiffens, stops, drops her shoulders in acceptance. She turns around, her posture screaming defeat as her eyes fill with remorse. "I'm sorry," she murmurs, getting the much needed apology out of the way.

Walking towards the couch, Christen sits at the edge of the middle cushion. Patting the one closest to Tobin, she invites her wife to come sit and talk. Tobin approaches with careful steps, swallows thickly as she sits and feels Christen take her hand in one of her own.

"Thank you," Christen accepts Tobin's apology. "But please explain."

Tobin looks down at their clasped hands. She toys with the rings on Christen's fingers as she buys herself some time to come up with the words for the way she's feeling.

"Are we ever going to have kids?" It's not a subtle question at all. Tobin doesn't dare look up to see how it lands with Christen, her heart hammering against her ribs now that the words have been uttered.

"Is this about Charlie?" Tobin shrugs, but Christen knows it is. Saw Tobin light up like a frigging Christmas tree the moment she spotted Alex pushing the stroller into the stadium. She knows how important children are to Tobin. How much she wants a couple of her own. They've talked about it — at length — so Christen doesn't understand why Tobin's bringing it up now.

"We said after the Olympics," Tobin reminds Christen. "We didn't even talk about it when they postponed the games, Chris. Are we postponing the rest of our plans too?"

Christen's ashamed to admit it hadn't crossed her mind. It's not that she doesn't want to have children, it's just that she hasn't always felt that way. For Tobin, having children seems to be a condition for being happiest. For Christen, having children would be an addition to an already happy and complete life. She's peaking — mentally as well as physically — and playing the game has never been this much fun for her and if she's really honest with herself, it's started to become a bit addictive. Is she really ready to give up on that? Would she have to? What if her body changes? What if her mindset does?

It's this last thought that haunts her. What if she's only doing it for Tobin? What if she's not cut out to be a Mom? Dealing with kids comes so naturally to Tobin while Christen always struggles with what to do or say, always afraid of embarrassing herself in front of those children's parents — or worse — in front of Tobin.

"If you don't want kids, just tell me," Tobin begs. "We'll figure it out."

Hearing it said so cut and dry, her stomach immediately revolts against the statement. Her mind decides to join forces with the churning organ by showing her pictures of her hopes and dreams for the future. A tiny Tobin-like munchkin learning to juggle. A miniature version of herself — her Mom's eyes, her Dad's smile — asleep in her arms. She knows she wants this with Tobin, but does she want it now?

"I want kids, Tobin. I want them with you. I'm just not really sure if I'm ready to be pregnant soon."

They stare at each other for a few long seconds before Tobin's mouth curls into a hopeful smile. "Between the two of us, you're not the only one with a womb, you know."

"You'd give up the game?" Christen asks, not quite believing what she's hearing. "Before the Olympics?"

"Who says I'd have to give up the game?" Tobin answers her wife's question with another question. "Syd's back at it. So is Alex. It can be done with the right motivation," she states with conviction. "Who says I'll even _want_ to come back to the game once the kid's here? Me and Mini Me'll just leech off of you and all the money you'll make with your ridiculous talents."

Grinning at the compliment, Christen feels something settle inside of her at Tobin's reassuring words. There's still one small point of worry, however. "And the Olympics?" She can't help but reiterate, worried she's forcing Tobin to give up on one dream to achieve another.

"We'll see what next year brings," Tobin rationalizes. "Let's kick some British bottom first, yeah? Make baby plans once we're stateside again? I think I can handle cheering you on from the stands at the Games."

"Doubtful," Christen snorts, eyeing Tobin with a playful look. "Maybe we should start planning twins of triplets to make sure you have your hands full by the time the Olympics come around. You'll go stir crazy sitting there watching us play," she teases, but the thought of Tobin and their little family cheering her on from the VIP section fills her with an unexpected yet overwhelming sense of plenitude.

"Deal!" Tobin calls out immediately, giddy at the prospect of a procession of Heath-Press offspring filling the seats beside her to watch Mommy play her games.

Christen leans in to seal their agreement with a kiss. "Deal!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope I did the prompt justice. If you liked it, I'd love to hear about it 😊


End file.
